Soma, Chapter 5

5: Who was that guy who you just killed just now?

[We enter a virtual bowling alley, Ed. Ed is long dead, just a picture. There is just ten "lanes," just dirty screens. Only one is on. Just chairs around. There is a machine that dispenses drinks - alcoholic drinks of all kinds. There is a counter, with a steel mesh behind it. It consists of a camera, a scanner, and a shotgun. A single hole lies in the center of the chairs, from which balls emerge, groggily, because no one has cleaned or maintained this place in years. ]

A young man, offstage, screaming.
"I've been shot."

Jack Dice, a man wearing an odd mixture of Americana - a 50s bowling shirt proclaiming "Sex Machine," a cowboy hat, and sweat pants.

Jack Dice is calmer than the young man.
"Complaining about it won't help."

Vincent Prud'homme saunters in like a snake.
"Yo, Vince."

Jack Dice raises his index finger.
"You said you'd leave Bob's party early."

Vincent Prud'homme pinches his nose.
"I know what I said. I said it. But I got caught up."

Jack Dice leans back.
"Bob's a jerk, we all know that. You've got it tattooed. Unless it was a capital offence, I don't see how you'd get caught up with it."

Vincent Prud'homme puts his hands on his hips.
"It was a capital offence, old boy."

A cop comes in.
"Cufking dumbarz kids."

Jack Dice tries to stop the policeman.
"Now officer, to be fair, officer, he thought the Security Shotgun wouldn't go off, because this place is so ill-maintained."

The cop stops to look at him.
"I'm sure you've committed a few felonies. You look the type."

Jack Dice shrugs the shoulder.
"All right, Officer, but maybe this is a holograph. Maybe I'm a sexy woman on the inside."

The cop stops to look at him.
"If you don't stop being a smart ass I'll keep the peace."

The cop drags the kid's body.
"Dumaz fugging kid. You have no idea how good you got it. I genuinely miss the days when guns killed, not all these blow-out-the-kneecaps shit you got nowadays..."

Jack Dice looks down.
"Officer, I hate to be a bother, but the machine didn't read him his rights."

The cop stops.
"Shit...how do those go?"

The cop continues to drag him.
"Eh, fuggit, it's on the cpu in the car, I'll read it to him there."

He continues dragging the body.

Jack Dice shifts in his chair.
"So what do we know about your victim?"

Vincent Prud'homme adjusts himself, pulls his underwear, and assumes the Thinker position.
"Well, I don't know his name. I mean, I don't know what he's like. That's pretty weird. He was rich, though - he drove a limo. He was balding, elderly, and he had bodyguards."

Jack Dice looks up at the ceiling.
"Do we know how you murdered him?"

Vincent Prud'homme adjusts, holding his hands together.
"Two bullets to the head, after I killed his bodyguards. I did some action movie shit, even though I'm pretty husky. They made me a Peace Keeper for a couple of seconds."

Jack Dice looks up at the ceiling.
"So what, they made you a Peace Keeper? Doesn't that mean, in purely legal terms, you should have killed that guy? He was a threat, was he not?"

Vincent Prud'homme pulls his hands through his hair.
"Well, yeah, I mean, that's what should've happened. But then the cops didn't show to pick up the body. So I don't know what's going on. I mean, someone must've gotten into the Peace Keeper system, faked it, and then made it so that I killed the guy. But I don't know, why would anyone do that? Maybe the cops were running late. I bet that's the case, just turn on the television."

Vincent Prudhomme turns on the television. He left it to the sports channel to see the scores. He had gambled - he lost.
"Okay."

Muhammed Lionhart, the anchor with genetically modified hair, a suit custom-woven down to the microbes, skin perfected with chemicals that burn like hellfire, and teeth whiter than the gates of Heaven, thinks about blowjobs while reading this from a teleprompter:
"Welcome back. We're asking Hollywood what they think about the spectacular death of Socrates Savage, the famous Celebrity Scientist Adventurer. As you know, Socrates died in a firefight in downtown Compton just hours ago. The manhunt is still on, and police are searching for suspects as we speak, and Peace Keeper use has been authorized. But how are the stars reacting? We turn to Yu Rei, the famous pop-singer."

A good-looking woman onscreen appears, chewing bubblegum.
"It's a tragedy."